Ten Things I Have Learned (So Far) During The Olympics

1. In beach volleyball, if you serve right at the spot between the two opposing players -- theoretically increasing the chance of unforced errors because each opponent will think the other is going to go after the ball -- you are targeting the "husband-and-wife zone." The first time I heard this, I thought the commentator was implying that Team #1 was serving the ball at Team #2's nuts, but then he used the more elaborate name: "the husband-and-wife zone of no communication."

2. Kath & Kim looks like it might well be the worst show ever made.

3. My love of Bob Costas still knows no bounds, and when they pair him with Bela Karolyi, I am in giddy heaven. Bela just rambles and rambles and builds himself up into a crazy enthusiastic head of steam, and Bob just nods and then says to the audience, "He's like this ALL THE TIME." During nationals I thought Bob's head was going to explode trying to understand all of what the hell Bela was even saying.

4. NBC must have spent an impressively long time getting all that gorgeous China b-roll. It's hard to find a clear day, much less a clear day with a blue sky, and yet they're making the city and its environs look atypically clean and incredibly lush. China owes them a big thank-you.

5. They finally finished this building; it connects at the top of the towers and is now affectionately called The Pants Building.

6. Seriously, those Chinese gymnasts ARE NOT SIXTEEN. Maybe a few of them are -- in fact, the one they claim is 20, I think is closer to 16 herself and she's stuck with an age that's a few years off because they had to fake her into being eligible for the 2004 Olympics. It's not sour grapes, either; the U.S. didn't perform well. If they'd been awesome and tumbled their hearts out and STILL lost, then maybe, but the U.S. beat itself. The thing is, I think China would still be a shoo-in even if they DIDN'T lie about these girls' real ages, so it's a shame that they clearly are. I mean... there is no way. One girl looks no older than 13. And since the government has issued the passports that are apparently the only documentation of their "true" ages, I have no doubt it's all a ruse. China, as a nation, is nothing if not desperately committed to winning. The men's coach said he'd throw himself off the tallest building in Beijing if they didn't win, and I'm kind of glad they did, because otherwise I'm nervous he would've been told to go through with it.

7. The womens' sabre gold medalist goes to Notre Dame. Which actually doesn't surprise me, since our NCAA fencing team has always been good and used to be coached by Yves Auriol, but I was so pleased to hear it and am very proud of her. She's apparently the only person to win Olympic gold in this event, because it was only added to the roster in Athens and she was victorious there too. WOO! Go Irish.

8. I really cannot watch gymnastics live. I am so scared these people are going to break their heads. Balance beam is the worst one for me -- so much so that I actually did the dishes instead of watching that one.

9. I am totally fine with guys objectifying the bodies of the female athletes, because I am objectifying the hell out of all the hot swimmer torsos. I can't help it. Just TRY not to stare.

10. I weirdly miss watching show jumping. It was always a huge deal in England, as any sport with halfway decent Brit athletes was, so I spent a lot of time with it growing up over there. When I lived in Calgary we went to Spruce Meadows a few times -- it's a professional show-jumping arena -- and it was so much fun, especially on a beautiful day. So bless Oxygen for showing the show jumpers.

Comments

[Kate F.]

1. OMG, did you see the Costas/Karolyi segment where Karolyi kept talking about umbrellas? Umbrellas of pressure, maybe? Hysterical.

2. My husband has focused more on whether Costas is wearing a wig or just a toupee than anything else (I think we've settled on toupee, since around the sideburn area there is a marked difference in hair color and texture).

3. Word on the gymnast ages (love how Karolyi made a point of tossing in a crack about that every time he spoke, all "too bad they're 13!"). That one girl was missing a tooth, in a very "I'm an underdeveloped 12-year-old way."

4. GOD, I am with you re. the pain of watching live. Agh! I get so freaked out. Those two horrible falls in men's last night.....gah. (Love the men's gymnastics, though. Amazing what the human body can do.)

5. And speaking of bodies, re. point 9.... Did you see this on Jezebel?
http://jezebel.com/5036020/golden-boys-clement-lefert-teammate
And then one of the commenters posted a link to this shameless fabulousness on the NBC website:
http://www.nbcolympics.com/swimming/photos/galleryid=156776.html
You're welcome.

[Kel]

I think Bob Costas and Bela should take that show on the road after Beijing is over. Or Bela should get his own late-night talk show--where he just yells things.

I am sad the swimming will be over in three days and I will no longer be able to objectify Phelps, Grievers, Piersol, Lochte...EAMONN SULLIVAN who is super hot from Australia.

[Jessica]

I think Costas is just the recipient of a bad dye job....I must look more closely tonight. I shall place him under an umbrella of scrutiny.

I really want him and Bella to make a buddy movie.

[Regina]

I'm with you on the balance beam. I always think they're falling and then they do that move where they straddle the beam. And then I think, "oh god, she's never going to be able to have children...". Bob and Bela should totally go on the road, I would go see that.

Also, The poolside commentator is driving me nuts. She interview them right when they get out of the pool and is all, "So what were you thinking during that turn?" and Michael Phelps is all, "Lady, I was swimming, not thinking." I'm waiting for one of the swimmers to throw her into the pool, and then I will be truly truly in love with the US Swim team. (not that I dont alreadly love them....)

[Rach]

2. Aw. The Australian version (at least the first three seasons) is f'ing hilarious.

[Mint Mogul]

I heart TV Bela. I have to believe that he was hard on the girls he coached, but he is absolutely and charmingly batty with Costas. If you haven't yet, check out the Ring the Bela segments on the NBC site -- how could you not love a show featuring Mary Carillo, Bela, and a gong.

I just saw some show jumping on Oxygen. Even though I've never been a horse person, we got Canadian TV channels when I was growing up in Buffalo, and I remember watching Spruce Meadows every year. Now I have to Google Ian Millar to see what happened to him.

[jodycakes]

Found your blog through Carol's - French Laundry At Home blog - very cool.

I grew up riding hunter/jumpers, so I too, have spent my life watching the Olympics for the sport - mentioned it too :) - and I was so pleased that Oxygen played the program. Some local sportscaster mentioned that the IOC should really consider changing the events that are not really sports, oh like equestrian - very rude!!!

anyhow, I'll be back by...great entries!
jodycakes